Oppression of the Enemy? or Conviction of a loving Father?

I have been very weighed down of late - with a variety of considerations. If you know me, you may think this is nothing out of the ordinary. But I am currently trying to ascertain the difference - if there is one - between the "oppression" of a spiritual/demonic enemy and the genuine, life-giving "conviction" of the Lord by his Spirit.

Experientially, historically, I have found it very difficult to differentiate between the two and so may have been tempted to suggest they were one and the same - citing as my defense the passages of Scripture which make it clear, for example, that "even the darkness is as light to him" and Job's exclamation that "should we receive GOOD from the Lord and not also calamity?" That is to say, I HAVE known the enemy's oppression to be the MEANS by which the Lord has brought about his conviction in my life.

But of late, I am coming to realize that this stops too far short of the reality of what is going on. There is, in both cases, a very definite spiritual "weight" - a "pressure" perhaps. But just as there is a GODLY sorrow which leads to repentance and therefore life, and there is a WORLDLY sorrow which brings about death, so also I think there is a GODLY pressure and a WORDLY pressure (stress?)....

So I am meditating on this distinction - because this also ties in, I believe, to how one who is a follower of Christ DOES in fact KNOW the voice of his Shepherd, and how one who is IN Christ - though his "feelings" lie to him - is NOT under "condemnation."

I am suggesting that though all the outward signs may appear identical - weariness, perhaps anger, depression, exhaustion, weeping - there IS a way to discern, internally, the difference between whether this is caused by the chatter and condemnation of a spiritual enemy subject to the Lord's REBUKE (which would by God's grace and in due time lead to the saint's deliverance), or whether this is caused by the guiding, gentle, kind, perhaps stern, but always edifying and establishing voice of the Shepherd (which would by God's grace and in due time bring about the Lord's revelation, and the saint's continuing sanctification and even fruitful ministry).

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**Lord - let me not be guilty, myself, of trying to minister "relief" to my spirit if the "pressure" is in fact the work of YOUR spirit to drive me to my knees in prayer, and to enable me to effectually receive your word. Many who would see me struggling would desire to minister compassion to me, because outwardly the symptoms are that of a suffering. And indeed, inwardly the weariness can seem to be quickly approaching "unbearable," though I know that you will NEVER give me more than I am able, by the strength and grace of your Spirit, to bear. But I would be more apt to minister relief to myself "too soon" - to seek for comfort before I have let the trial "have its full effect" and bring about IN me the peaceable fruit of righteousness and perseverance. Instead, Lord, teach me to seek your revelation - mindful of the fact that you yourself minister TO me during the season when your hand is upon me. Though you may be holding me or pushing me down, it is a loving instruction and discipline. And if I perceive that it is anything BUT this, let me run to you quickly that you might deliver me from any other accuser. So, Lord, whether it is a "pressure" because your hand is upon me, or whether it is an "oppression" because the enemy is prowling about me as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour, let my first response always be to cry out to you - because only you will be able to bring about either my deliverance and therefore comfort, or my sanctification and therefore joy. Have mercy on me, my Father. Let me not neglect to receive your word, and to abide in your presence!**