God, your steadfast love is unfailing! reaching to the heavens! Your steadfast love holds us up, is worthy of praise, and - the Psalmist says - is better than life. But, God, I have not believed this....I have not cast myself on this truth, though I am increasing in my understanding of it.
The awful truth is that I still prefer my own life over your love!
Your love is the means by which, in Christ, I can truly be called a "son" of God! Your love is the means by which my foot does not slip, I am saved from my adversary, and I receive your patient forgiveness! Your love IS better than life! - your love IS true life!, but I do not believe it. But oh, God, I want to! It is your mercy and kindness, God, that your love is not dependent on the voracity of my love for you in return. Rather, we love you because you have first loved us! But my God, my love is at best lukewarm (do not spew me out of your mouth!)....
How can I be made to care about this enough so that I will fall on my face and confess that I have lost my first love? YOU must do it! - YOU must break my heart concerning my sin, so that I will not neglect my confession!.....
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